Xiaoyu Has Never Craved Blackout This Much

Look at this title—aren’t you curious about what happened?

To put it simply, Xiaoyu was trapped in extreme and prolonged suffering, constantly craving for a blackout as a means of escape. And after enduring a full 30 minutes, when the moment of relief finally arrived, her mind had already gone numb—she no longer even knew what she had been craving for…

The setup is as follows: After being wrapped in cling film into a human-shaped cocoon, Xiaoyu was then tightly wrapped upright against a steel pole, with only her head exposed. A vibrator continuously stimulated her private part, while her mouth and nose were covered by a transparent breathing mask. The air inlet of the mask was connected to a hose, which led to a large 3L rebreather bag. The inlet of the bag was controlled by a manual ball valve. The breathing mask, hose, and rebreather bag together formed an enormous dead space. With each deep breath, Xiaoyu was forced to struggle against the stale air trapped in the dead space, with minimal air exchange with the outside. To make matters worse, the valve was periodically adjusted to a half-closed or even fully closed position, further intensifying the high-CO₂, low-oxygen conditions inside the dead space. Normally, even for Xiaoyu, it would be impossible to endure such an environment for long. However, the terrifying part is that whenever she reached her limit, I squeezed the rebreather bag, reducing the volume of the dead space, allowing her to expel some CO₂ and take in a minimal amount of oxygen—just enough to keep her consciousness from slipping away. But this comes at a cost: the squeezed bag became the bottleneck of the entire airflow system. To overcome the resistance, Xiaoyu must inhale with strong force. While the hypoxia was somewhat alleviated, the physical and mental exhaustion only grew more intense…

Time had finally reached the pre-set thirty minutes—of course, Xiaoyu had no sense of time—and I closed the valve on the rebreather bag for the last time. Then I watched as Xiaoyu, completely unaware and with her consciousness already blurred for a long while, enacted her final struggle. After only a few dozen seconds of prolonged oxygen deprivation, her consciousness slipped into a dark abyss…

Interview after several hours of rest:

—Me: Have you recovered?

—Xiaoyu: More or less… My temples still hurt a bit…

—Me: Then, first, can you describe your overall feelings about this experience?

—Xiaoyu: Extreme suffering, absolute torment… One word: Brutal!

—Me: When the bag was first attached, how uncomfortable was it? Or was there more pleasure at that point?

—Xiaoyu: At first, there was still pleasure. It felt a little suffocating, but it was manageable.

—Me: Then did the discomfort quickly surpass the pleasure, or was it a gradual change?

—Xiaoyu: It wasn’t gradual. It was like hitting a certain threshold, and from that point on, it was basically all suffering.

—Me: After that point, were you still able to feel or focus on the vibrations?

—Xiaoyu: I could still feel them.

—Me: What effect did the vibrations have? Did they help relieve the discomfort? Make it worse? Or did they just become irrelevant background noise?

—Xiaoyu: At first, they might have distracted me a bit, but later, they were basically useless.

—Me: Even if you tried to focus on the vibrations, it didn’t help? Or was it simply impossible to focus at all?

—Xiaoyu: Later on, I couldn’t even concentrate on the vibrations.

—Me: Were you only able to focus on breathing at that point?

—Xiaoyu: I wasn’t able to focus on anything.

—Me: How long did the whole process feel like it lasted?

—Xiaoyu: A very long time. It felt like an entire century…

—Me: Excluding the moment just before you blacked out, did you experience any symptoms of low oxygen, like tunnel and darkened vision, seeing stars, or numbness in your hands and feet?

—Xiaoyu: Yes. My heart also felt somewhat numb.

—Me: After passing that initial stage and reaching the suffering threshold, did those symptoms persist continuously, or did they come and go in waves?

—Xiaoyu: After the initial stage, they were basically always there and kept getting worse. Even when you gave me air occasionally, it didn’t help much.

—Me: Just before you blacked out, do you think you briefly lost consciousness at any point?

—Xiaoyu: I was right on the edge. My awareness was hazy, but I was still conscious, I think.

—Me: So this setup really kept you right at the brink of unconsciousness.

—Xiaoyu: Yes.

—Xiaoyu: But the mask became really uncomfortable later… The more I sweated, the more it slipped down… It pressed against my nose, and I ended up choking on my own sweat, tears, and mucus.

—Me: In the end, did you realize I was closing the valve to make you black out?

—Xiaoyu: No. Because you were constantly adjusting the valve. After a while, I stopped knowing what you were doing. I thought it would just keep repeating… That was the feeling I had.

—Me: Was there a specific moment when you suddenly realized the valve was fully shut and that it was about to end?

—Xiaoyu: No.

—Me: So even up until the moment you actually passed out, you didn’t realize it was about to be over? That relief was coming?

—Xiaoyu: No.

—Me: What was it like waking up?

—Xiaoyu: How did I even wake up…? I only realized I was lying on the ground when I became conscious again.

—Me: Did you feel the vibrations? Were you confused?

—Xiaoyu: I was more surprised—like, how did I end up on the floor? I don’t think I felt the vibrations… I was probably too numb to notice.

—Me: So your rationality came back pretty quickly—you knew what was going on, you were just surprised you had come down from the pole. No existential "Where am I? What am I doing?" moment. When you woke up, did you feel that overwhelming pleasure like you have in the past?

—Xiaoyu: Yes.

—Me: How bad was the headache afterward?

—Xiaoyu: Pretty bad… Extremely painful. It only got better after I almost emptied the portable oxygen tank.

—Me: Has the pain subsided now?

—Xiaoyu: A little.

—Me: If we were to do it again, would you be willing?

—Xiaoyu: Another 30-minute edge session like this?

—Me: Yeah.

—Xiaoyu: This one was really brutal… Whether I’d do it again depends on the equipment… And my head hurt so much… I’d have to think about it… And see how I feel.